Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Different Kinds of Viruses

-The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
-The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.
-The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
-The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting.
-The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
-The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
-The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
-The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
-The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.
-The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
-The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
-The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files.
-The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy... then discards it through Windows.

No comments: